Are you blind when you're born?
Can you see in the dark?
Can you look at a king? Would you sit on his throne?
Can you say of your bite That it's worse than your bark?
Are you cock of the walk
When you're walking alone?
Because Jellicles are And Jellicles do
Jellicles do and Jellicles would
Jellicles would and Jellicles can
Jellicles can and Jellicles do
When you fall on your head Do you land on your feet?
Are you tense when you sense There's a storm in the air?
Can you find your way blind When you're lost in the street?
Do you know how to go To the Heaviside Layer?
Because Jellicles can And Jellicles do
Jellicles do and Jellicles can
Jellicles can and Jellicles do
Jellicles do and Jellicles can
Jellicles can and Jellicles do
Can you ride on a broomstick To places far distant?
Familiar with candle
Were you Whittington's friend? The Pied Piper's assistant?
Have you been an alumnus
Are you mean like a minx? Are you lean like a lynx?
Are you keen to be seen When you're smelling a rat?
Were you there when the pharaohs Commissioned the Sphinx?
If you were, and you are You're a Jellicle Cat
Jellicle Songs for Jellicle Cats
We can dive through the air
Like a flying trapeze
We can turn double somersaults Bounce on a tyre
We can run up a wall We can swing through the trees
We can balance on bars We can walk on a wire
Jellicles can and Jellicles do
Jellicle Songs for Jellicle Cats
Can you sing at the same time In more than one key
Duets by Rossini And waltzes by Strauss?
And can you, as cats do Begin with a "c"?
That always triumphantly Brings down the house
Jellicle Cats Are queens of the night
Singing at astronomical heights
Handling pieces from The Messiah
Hallelujah, angelical choir
Jellicle Cats Are queens of the night
Singing at astronomical heights
Handling pieces from The Messiah
Hallelujah, angelical choir
The mystical divinity
Of unashamed felinity
Round the cathedral
Rang vivat
Life to the everlasting cat
Feline, fearless
Faithful and true
To others who do what
Jellicles do and Jellicles can
Jellicles can and Jellicles do
Jellicle Cats sing Jellicle Chants
Jellicles old and Jellicles new
Jellicle Song and Jellicle dance
Jellicle Songs for Jellicle Cats
Practical cats, dramatical cats
Pragmatical cats, fanatical cats
Oratorical cats, Delphic-Oracle cats
Sceptical cats, dyspeptical cats
Romantical cats, pedantical cats
Critical and parasitical cats
Allegorical cats, metaphorical cats
Statistical cats and mystical cats
Political cats, hypocritical cats
Clerical cats, hysterical cats
Cynical cats, rabbinical cats
Jellicle Songs for Jellicle Cats
There's a man over there With a look of surprise
As much as to say Well, now, how about that?
Do I actually see With my own very eyes
A man who's not heard Of a Jellicle Cat?
What's a Jellicle Cat?
The naming of cats Is a difficult matter
It isn't just one Of your holiday games
You may think at first I'm as mad as a hatter
When I tell you a cat Must have three different names
First of all there's the name That the family use daily
Such as Peter, Augustus Alonzo or James
Such as Victor or Jonathan George or Bill Bailey
All of them Sensible, everyday names
There are fancier names If you think they sound sweeter
Some for the gentlemen Some for the dames
Such as Plato, Admetus Electra, Demeter
But all of them sensible Everyday names
But I tell you, a cat Needs a name that's particular
A name that's peculiar And more dignified
Else how can he keep up His tail perpendicular
Or spread out his whiskers Or cherish his pride?
Of names of this kind I can give you a quorum
Such as Munkustrap, Quaxo Or Coricopat
Such as Bombalurina Or else, Jellylorum
Names that never belong To more than one cat
But above and beyond There's still one name left over
And that is the name That you never will guess
The name that no human research Can discover
But the cat himself knows And will never confess
When you notice a cat In profound meditation
The reason, I tell you, Is always the same
His mind is engaged In a rapt contemplation
Of the thought, of the thought
Of the thought of his name
His ineffable
Effable
Effanineffable
Deep and inscrutable
Singular
Name... Name... Name... Name...
Jellicle Cats come out tonight
Jellicle Cats come one, come all
The Jellicle Moon is shining bright
Jellicles come to the Jellicle Ball
Jellicle Cats come out tonight
Jellicles come to the Jellicle Ball
Jellicle Cats meet once a year
At the Jellicle Ball Where we all rejoice
And the Jellicle Leader Will soon appear
And make what is known As the Jellicle Choice
When Old Deuteronomy Just before dawn
Through a silence you feel You could cut with a knife
Announces the cat Who can now be reborn
And come back to a different Jellicle Life
For waiting up there Is the Heaviside Layer
Full of wonders One Jellicle only will see
And Jellicles ask Because Jellicles dare
Who will it be? Who will it be?
I have a Gumbie Cat in mind
Her name is Jennyanydots
Her coat is of the tabby kind
With tiger stripes And leopard spots
All day she sits beneath the stair
Or on the steps or on the mat
She sits and sits and sits and sits
And that's what makes a Gumbie Cat
That's what makes a Gumbie Cat
But when the day's hustle And bustle is done
Then the Gumbie Cat's work Is but hardly begun
And when all the family's In bed and asleep
She tucks up her skirts To the basement to creep
She is deeply concerned With the ways of the mice
Their behaviour's not good And their manners not nice
So when she has got them Lined up on the matting
She teaches them Music, crocheting and tatting
I have a Gumbie Cat in mind
Her name is Jennyanydots
The curtain cord she likes to wind
And tie it into sailor knots
She sits upon the window-sill
Or anything that's smooth and flat
She sits and sits and sits and sits
And that's what makes a Gumbie Cat
That's what makes a Gumbie Cat
But when the day's hustle And bustle is done
Then the Gumbie Cat's work Is but hardly begun
She thinks that the cockroaches Just need employment
To prevent them from Idle and wanton destroyment
So she's formed from that lot Of disorderly louts
A troop of well-disciplined Helpful boy scouts
With a purpose in life And a good deed to do
And she's even created
A beetles tattoo!
( Rule Britannia )
Squad salute!
For she's A jolly good fellow...
Thank you, my dears
Miaow
The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat
If you offer me pheasant I'd rather have grouse
If you put me in a house I would much prefer a flat
If you put me in a flat Then I'd rather have a house
If you set me on a mouse Then I only want a rat
If you set me on a rat Then I'd rather chase a mouse
The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat
And there isn't any call For me to shout it
For he will do as he do do
And there's no doing anything About it
The Rum Tum Tugger Is a terrible bore
When you let me in Then I want to go out
I'm always on the wrong side Of every door
And as soon as I get home Then I'd like to get about
I like to lie in a bureau drawer
But I make such a fuss If I can't get out
The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat
And there isn't any use For you to doubt it
For he will do as he do do
And there's no doing Anything about it
The Rum Tum Tugger Is a curious beast
My disobliging ways Are a matter of habit
Now if you offer me fish Then I always want a feast
And if there isn't any fish Then I won't eat rabbit
If you offer me cream Then I sniff and sneer
For I only like What I find for myself... No
So you catch me in it up to my ears And put it on the larder shelf
The Rum Tum Tugger Is artful and knowing
The Rum Tum Tugger Doesn't care for a cuddle
So I'll on up into your sewing
Cos there's nothing I enjoy like a horrible muddle
The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat
The Rum Tum Tugger Doesn't care for a cuddle
The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat
And there isn't any need For me to spout it
For he will do as he do do
And there's no
Doing anything
About...
(Miaowing)
About...
(Miaowing)
About...
(Screaming)
About it
Remark the cat
Who hesitates towards you
In the light of the dawn
Which opens on her
Like a grin
You see the border Of her coat is torn
And stained with sand
And you see the corner of her eye
Twist like a crooked pin
She haunted many a low resort
Near the grimy road Of Tottenham Court
She flitted about the no man's land
From The Rising Sun To The Friend at Hand
And the postman sighed As he scratched his head
You'd really have thought She'd ought to be dead
And who would ever suppose
That that
Was Grizabella
The Glamour Cat?
Grizabella the Glamour Cat
Who would have ever supposed
That that
Was Grizabella
The Glamour Cat?
Bustopher Jones Is not skin and bones
In fact, he's remarkably fat
He doesn't haunt pubs He has eight or nine clubs
For he's the St James's Street Cat
He's the cat we all greet As he walks down the street
In his coat of fastidious black
No commonplace mousers Have such well-cut trousers
Or such an impeccable back
In the whole of St James's The smartest of names is
The name of this Brummell of cats
And we're all of us proud To be nodded or bowed to
By Bustopher Jones in white spats
In the whole of St James's The smartest of names is
The name of this Brummell of cats
And we're all of us proud To be nodded or bowed to
By Bustopher Jones In white spats
My visits are occasional To the Senior Educational
And it is against the rules
For any one cat To belong both to that
And the Joint Superior Schools
For a similar reason When game is in season
I'm found not at Fox's, but Blimp's
I am frequently seen At the gay Stage and Screen
Which is famous For winkles and shrimps
In the season of venison I give my ben'son
To the Pothunter's succulent bones
And just before noon's Not a moment too soon
To drop in for a drink
At the Drones
When I'm seen in a hurry There's probably curry
At the Siamese or at the Glutton
If I look full of gloom Then I've lunched at the Tomb
On cabbage, rice pudding
And mutton
In the whole of St James's The smartest of names is
The name of this Brummell of cats
And we're all of us proud To be nodded or bowed to
By Bustopher Jones in white
Bustopher Jones in white
Bustopher Jones in white spats
So much in this way Passes Bustopher's day
At one club or another he's found
It can be no surprise That under our eyes
He has grown unmistakably round
He's a twenty-five pounder Or I am a bounder
And he's putting on weight Every day
But I'm so well-preserved Because I've observed
All me life a routine, and I'd say
I am still in me prime I shall last out me time
That's the word From this stoutest of cats
It must and it shall Be spring in Pall Mall
While Bustopher Jones wears white
Bustopher Jones wears white
Bustopher Jones Wears white spats
Toodlepip!
(Thunder rolls)
(Police siren )
Macavity!
(Car brakes screech)
(Car accelerates away )
- (Woman laughs ) - Shh!
(Woman laughs )
Mungojerrie And Rumpleteazer
We're a notorious couple of cats
As knockabout clowns Quick-change comedians
Tightrope walkers and acrobats
We have an extensive reputation
We make our home in Victoria Grove
This is merely our centre Of operation
For we are incurably given to rove
When the family assembles For Sunday dinner
Their minds made up That they won't get thinner
On Argentine joint Potatoes and greens
And the cook would appear From behind the scenes
And say in a voice That is broken with sorrow
"I'm afraid you must wait And have dinner tomorrow
"The joint has gone From the oven like that!"
Then the family will say "It's that horrible cat!
"Was it Mungojerrie Or Rumpleteazer!"
And most of the time They leave it at that
Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer
Have a wonderful way Of working together
And some of the time You would say it was luck
And some of the time You would say it was weather
We'd go through the house Like a hurricane
And no sober person Could take his oath
Was it Mungojerrie Or Rumpleteazer?
Or could you have sworn That it might have been both?
And when you hear A dining room smash
Or up from the pantry There comes a loud crash
Or down from the library Came a loud ping
From a vase which was commonly
Said to be Ming
Then the family will say "Now which was which cat?"
It was Mungojerrie
And Rumpleteazer
And there's nothing at all To be done about that
Old Deuteronomy?
I believe it is Old Deuteronomy
Well, of all things
Can it be really?
Yes! No! Ho! Hi! My eye!
My mind may be wandering But I confess
I believe it is Old Deuteronomy
Old Deuteronomy's lived a long time
He's a cat who has lived Many lives in succession
He was famous in proverb And famous in rhyme
A long while before Queen Victoria's accession
Old Deuteronomy's buried nine wives
And more - I am tempted To say ninety-nine
And his numerous progeny Prospers and thrives
And the village is proud of him In his decline
At the sight of that placid And bland physiognomy
When he sits in the sun
On the vicarage wall
The oldest inhabitant croaks
Well, of all things
Can it be really?
Yes! No! Ho! Hi! My eye!
My mind may be wandering But I confess
I believe it is Old Deuteronomy
Well, of all things
Can it be really?
Yes! No! Ho! Hi! My eye!
My mind may be wandering But I confess
I believe it is Old Deuteronomy
Well, of all things Can it be really?
Yes! No! Ho! Hi! My eye!
My mind may be wandering But I confess
I believe it is Old Deuteronomy
Well, of all things
Can it be really?
Yes! No! Ho! Hi! My eye!
My legs may be tottery And I must go slow
And be careful
Of Old Deuteronomy
Jellicle Cats meet once a year
On the night we make The Jellicle Choice
And now that the Jellicle Leader is here
Jellicle Cats can all rejoice
Of the awe-full battle of the Pekes And the Pollicles
Together with some account
Of the participation Of the Pugs and the Poms
And the intervention
Of the Great
Rumpus Cat
The Pekes and the Pollicles Everyone knows
Are proud and implacable Passionate foes
It is always the same Wherever one goes
And the Pugs and the Poms Are the most people say
That they do not like fighting Yet once in a way
They now and again Join into the fray, and they
Bark Bark
Until you can hear them All over the park
Now, on the occasion Of which I shall speak
Almost nothing had happened For nearly a week
The big Police Dog Was away from his beat
I don't know the reason But most people think
He slipped into the Wellington Arms for a drink
And no one at all Was about on the street
When a Peke and a Pollicle Happened to meet
They did not advance Or exactly retreat
But they glared at each other And scraped their hind feet
And started to Bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark
Until you could hear them All over the park
And they'd Bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark
Until you could hear them All over the park
Now, the Peke, although people May say what they please
Is no British dog But a heathen Chinese
And so all the Pekes When they heard the uproar
Some came to the window Some came to the door
There were surely a dozen More likely a score
And together they started To grumble and wheeze
In their huffery-snuffery Heathen Chinese
But a terrible din Is what Pollicles like
For your Pollicle dog Is a dour Yorkshire tyke
There are dogs out of every nation The Irish, the Welsh and the Dane
The Russian, Dutch and Dalmatian And even from China and Spain
From the Poodle, the Pom The Alsatian
And the Mastiff Who walks on a chain
And to those that are frisky And frolicle
That my meaning be perfectly plain
That my name is Little Tom Pollicle And you better not do it again
And his braw Scottish cousins Are snappers and biters
And every dog-jack of them Notable fighters
And so they stepped out With their pipers in order
Playin' When the Blue Bonnets Come Over the Border
Then the Pugs and the Poms Held no longer aloof
But some from the balcony Some from the roof
Joined into the din with a Bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark
Until you could hear them All over the park
Huffery-snuffery, huffery-snuffery
Huffery-snuffery, huffery-snuff
Until you could hear them All over the park
Now!
When these bold heroes Together assembled
The traffic all stopped And the Underground trembled
And some of the neighbours Were so much afraid
That they started to ring up The fire brigade
When suddenly up From a small basement flat
Why, who should stalk out
But the Great Rumpus Cat?
His eyes were like fireballs
Fearfully blazing
He gave a great yawn
And his jaws were amazing
And when he looked out Through the bars of the area
You never saw anything
Fiercer
Or hairier
And what with the glare Of his eyes and his yawning
The Pekes and the Pollicles Quickly took warning
He looked to the sky And he gave a great leap
And they every last one of them Scattered like sheep
And when the Police Dog Returned to his beat
There wasn't a single one Left on the street
All hail and all bow to
The Great Rumpus Cat
Jellicle Cats and dogs all must
Pollicle Dogs and cats all must
Like undertakers, come to dust
(Thunder rolls)
Macavity!
Jellicle Cats come out tonight
Jellicle Cats, come one, come all
The Jellicle Moon is shining bright
Jellicles come to the Jellicle Ball
Jellicle Cats are black and white
Jellicle Cats are rather small
Jellicle Cats are merry and bright
And pleasant to hear When we caterwaul
Jellicle Cats have cheerful faces
Jellicle Cats Have bright black eyes
We like to practise Our airs and graces
And wait for the Jellicle Moon to rise
Jellicle Cats develop slowly
Jellicle Cats are not too big
Jellicle Cats are roly-poly
We know how to dance A gavotte and a jig
Until the Jellicle Moon appears
We make our toilette And take our repose
Jellicles wash behind their ears
Jellicles dry between their toes
Jellicle Cats are white and black
Jellicle Cats are of moderate size
Jellicles jump like a jumping jack
Jellicle Cats have moonlit eyes
We're quiet enough In the morning hours
We're quiet enough In the afternoon
Reserving our terpsichorean powers
To dance by the light Of the Jellicle Moon
Jellicle Cats are black And white
Jellicle Cats, As we said, are small
If it happens to be a stormy night
We will practise a caper Or two in the hall
If it happens the sun Is shining bright
You would say we had Nothing to do at all
We are resting and saving Ourselves to be right
For the Jellicle Moon And the Jellicle Ball
Jellicle Cats come out tonight
Jellicle Cats, come one, come all
The Jellicle Moon is shining bright
Jellicles come to the Jellicle Ball
Jellicle Cats come out tonight
Jellicle Cats, come one, come all
The Jellicle Moon is shining bright
Jellicles come To the Jellicle Ball...
(Music stops abruptly)
You see the border of her coat
Is torn and stained with sand
And you see
The corner of her eye
Twist like a crooked pin
Midnight
Not a sound from the pavement
Has the moon lost her memory?
She is smiling alone
In the lamplight
The withered leaves Collect at my feet
And the wind
Begins to moan
Every street lamp
Seems to beat
A fatalistic warning
Someone mutters
And the street lamp gutters
And soon it will be morning
Memory
All alone in the moonlight
I can smile at the old days
I was beautiful then
I remember the time I knew
What happiness was
Let the memory
Live again
The moments of happiness
We had the experience
But missed the meaning
And approach to the meaning
Restores the experience In a different form
Beyond any meaning
We can assign to happiness
The past experience
Revived in the meaning
Is not the experience
Of one life only
But of many generations
Not forgetting
Something that is
Probably quite ineffable
Moonlight
Turn your face to the moonlight
Let your memory lead you
Open up, enter in
If you find there
The meaning of what happiness is
Then a new life
Will begin
Moonlight
Turn your face to the moonlight
Let your memory lead you
Open up, enter in
If you find there
The meaning of what happiness is
Then a new life
Will begin
Gus is the cat At the theatre door
His name, as I ought to Have told you before
Is really Asparagus
But that's such a fuss to pronounce
That we usually call him just Gus
His coat's very shabby He's thin as a rake
And he suffers from palsy That makes his paws shake
Yet he was in his youth Quite the smartest of cats
But no longer a terror To mice or to rats
For he isn't the cat That he was in his prime
Though his name was quite famous, He says, in his time
And whenever he joins His friends at their club
Which takes place at the back Of the neighbouring pub
He loves to regale them If someone else pays
With anecdotes drawn From his palmiest days
For he once was a star Of the highest degree
He has acted with Irving He has acted with tree
And he likes to relate His success on the halls
Where the gallery once gave him
Seven cat calls
But his grandest creation
As he loves to tell
Was Firefrorefiddle
The Fiend of the Fell
I have played in my time
Every possible part
And I used to know seventy Speeches by heart
I'd extemporise backchat
I knew how to gag
And I knew how to let the cat Out of the bag
I knew how to act With my back and my tail
With an hour of rehearsal I never could fail
I'd a voice that would soften The hardest of hearts
Whether I took the lead Or in character parts
I have sat by the bedside Of poor little Nell
When the curfew was rung Then I swung on the bell
In the pantomime season I never fell flat
And I once understudied Dick Whittington's Cat
But my grandest creation
As history will tell
Was Firefrorefiddle
The Fiend of the Fell
Then if someone will give him A toothful of gin
He will tell how he once played A part in East Lynne
At a Shakespeare performance He once walked on pat
When some actor suggested The need for a cat
And I say that these kittens They do not get trained
As we did in the days When Victoria reigned
They never get drilled In a regular troupe
And they think they are smart Just to jump through a hoop
And he says as he scratches himself With his claws
Well, the theatre is certainly Not what it was
These modern productions Are all very well
But there's nothing to equal From what I hear tell
That moment of mystery
When I made history
As Firefrorefiddle
The Fiend of the Fell...
(Music fades away, ghostly wind)
These modern productions
Are all very well
But there's nothing to equal
From what I hear tell
That moment of mystery
When I made...
Skimbleshanks The Railway Cat
The cat of the railway train
There's a whisper down the line At eleven thirty-nine
When the Night Mail's Ready to depart
Saying Skimble, where is Skimble? Has he gone to hunt the thimble?
We must find him Or the train can't start
All the guards and all the porters And the stationmaster's daughters
Would be searching high and low
Saying, "Skimble, where is Skimble? For unless he's very nimble
"Then the Night Mail just can't go"
At eleven forty-two With the signal overdue
And the passengers All frantic to a man
That's when I would appear And I'd saunter to the rear
I'd been busy in the luggage van
Then he gave one flash Of his glass-green eyes
And the signal went all clear
They'd be off at last For the northern part
Of the northern hemisphere
Skimbleshanks the Railway Cat
The cat of the railway train
You could say that by and large It was me who was in charge
Of the Sleeping Car Express
From the driver and the guards To the bagmen playing cards
I'd supervise them all More or less
Down the corridor he paces And examines all the faces
Of the travellers In the First and the Third
He establishes control By a regular patrol
And he'd know at once If anything occurred
He would watch you without winking And he saw what you were thinking
And it's certain That he didn't approve
Of hilarity and riot So that folk were very quiet
When Skimble was about And on the move
You could play no pranks With Skimbleshanks
He's a cat that cannot be ignored
So nothing went wrong On the Northern Mail
When Skimbleshanks was aboard
It was very pleasant When they found their little den
With their name Written up on the door
And the berth was very neat With a newly folded sheet
And not a speck of dust On the floor
There was every sort of light You could make it dark or bright
And a button you could turn To make a breeze
And a funny little basin You're supposed to wash your face in
And a crank to shut The window should you sneeze
Then the guard looked in politely And would ask you very brightly
Do you like your morning tea Weak or strong?
But I was just behind him And was ready to remind him
For Skimble won't let Anything go wrong
When they crept into Their cosy berths
And pulled down the counterpane
They ought to reflect It was very nice
To know that they wouldn't Be bothered by mice
They would leave all that To the Railway Cat
The cat of the railway train
Skimbleshanks the Railway Cat
The cat of the railway train
Skimbleshanks the Railway Cat
The cat of the railway train
In the watches of the night I was always fresh and bright
Every now and then I'd have a cup of tea
With perhaps a drop of Scotch When I was keeping on the watch
Only stopping here and there To catch a flea
They were fast asleep at Crewe And so they never knew
That I was walking Up and down the station
They were sleeping all the while I was busy at Carlisle
Where I met the station master With elation
They might see me at Dumfries If I summoned the police
If there was anything They ought to know about
When they got to Gallowgate There they did not have to wait
For Skimbleshanks will help them To get out
And he
Gives you a wave Of his long brown tail
Which says I'll see you again
You will meet without fail On the midnight mail
The cat of the railway train
The cat of the railway
Train
(Crashing and banging)
(Sinister laughter)
(Crash)
Macavity!
(Laughing)
Macavity's a mystery cat
He's called the Hidden Paw
For he's the master criminal
Who can defy the law
He's the bafflement Of Scotland Yard
The Flying Squad's despair
For when they reach The scene of crime
Macavity's not there!
Macavity, Macavity There's no one like Macavity
He's broken every human law
He breaks the law of gravity
His powers of levitation
Would make a fakir stare
And when you reach the scene of crime
Macavity's not there
You may seek him in the basement
You may look up in the air
But I tell you once and once again Macavity's not there!
Macavity's a ginger cat
He's very tall and thin
You would know him if you saw him
For his eyes are sunken in
His brow is deeply Lined with thought
His head is highly domed
His coat is dusty from neglect
His whiskers are uncombed
He sways his head from side to side
With movements like a snake
And when you think he's half asleep
He's always wide awake
Macavity, Macavity There's no one like Macavity
For he's a fiend in feline shape
A monster of depravity
You may meet him in a by-street
You may see him in the square
But when a crime's discovered Then Macavity's not there
He's outwardly respectable
I know he cheats at cards
And his footprints are not found in
Any files of Scotland Yard's
And when the larder's looted
Or the jewel case is rifled
Or when the milk is missing
Or another Peke's been stifled
Or the greenhouse glass is broken
And the trellis past repair
There's the wonder of the thing Macavity's not there!
Macavity, Macavity There's no one like Macavity
There never was a cat
Of such deceitfulness and suavity
He always has an alibi
And one or two to spare
Whatever time the deed took place Macavity wasn't there
And they say that all the cats
Whose wicked deeds are widely known
I might mention Mungojerrie
I might mention Griddlebone
Are nothing more than agents
For the cat who all the time
Just controls the operations
The Napoleon of Crime!
Macavity, Macavity There's no one like Macavity
He's a fiend in feline shape
A monster of depravity
You may meet him in a by-street
You may see him in the square
But when a crime's discovered Then Macavity
Macavity
When a crime's discovered Then Macavity's not there
(Music stops abruptly)
(Sinister laughter)
(Cats ) Macavity!
(Cats whisper) Macavity's not there.
We have to find
Old Deuteronomy
You ought to ask Magical Mr Mistoffelees
The original Conjuring Cat There can be no doubt about that
Please listen to me And don't scoff
All his inventions Are off his own bat
There's no such cat in the metropolis He holds all the patent monopolies
For performing surprising illusions
And creating eccentric confusions
The greatest magicians Have something to learn
From Mr Mistoffelees' Conjuring turn
And we all say
Well, I never Was there ever a cat so clever
As magical Mr Mistoffelees
He is quiet, he is small, He is black
From his ears To the tip of his tail
He can creep Through the tiniest crack
He can walk on the narrowest rail
He can pick any card from the pack
He's equally cunning with dice
He's always deceiving you Into believing
That he's only hunting for mice
He can play any trick with a cork
Or a spoon and a bit of fish paste
If you look for a knife or a fork
And you think That it's merely misplaced
You have seen it one moment But then it is gone
But you find it next week Laying out on the lawn
And we all say
Well, I never Was there ever a cat so clever
As magical Mr Mistoffelees Presto!
Well, I never Was there ever a cat so clever
As magical Mr Mistoffelees
Well, I never Was there ever a cat so clever
As magical Mr Mistoffelees
His manner is vague and aloof
And you would think There was nobody shyer
But his voice can be Heard on the roof
While he was curled up by the fire
And he's sometimes Been heard by the fire
While he was about on the roof
At least we all heard That somebody purred
Which is incontestable proof
Of his singular magical powers
And I've known the family to call
Him in from the garden for hours
While he was asleep in the hall
And not long ago This phenomenal cat
Produced seven kittens
Right out of a hat
And we all say
Well, I never Was there ever a cat so clever
As magical Mr Mistoffelees...
(Laughter)
Magical!
And not long ago, This phenomenal cat
Produced seven kittens
Right out of a hat...
(Drum roll)
(Cats gasp )
And we all say
Well, I never
Was there ever a cat so clever
As magical Mr Mistoffelees
Well, I never Was there ever a cat so clever
As magical Mr Mistoffelees
Well, I never Was there ever a cat so clever
As magical Mr Mistoffelees...
Mystical!
Well, I never Was there ever a cat so clever...
Magical! Mystical!
Well, I never Was there ever a cat so clever
As magical Mr Mistoffelees
I give you the magical...
The marvellous... Mr Mistoffelees!
Daylight
See the dew on a sunflower
And a rose that is fading
Roses wither away
Like the sunflower
I yearn to turn my face to the dawn
I am waiting
For the day...
Now Old Deuteronomy
Just before dawn
Through a silence you feel You could cut with a knife
Announces the cat Who can now be reborn
And come back to a different Jellicle Life
Memory
Turn your face to the moonlight
Let your memory lead you
Open up, enter in
If you find there
The meaning of what happiness is
Then a new life
Will begin
Memory
All alone in the moonlight
I can smile at the old days
I was beautiful then
I remember
A time I knew what happiness was
Let the memory
Live again
Burnt out ends of smoky days
The stale cold smell
Of morning
The street lamp dies
Another night is over
Another day
Is dawning
Daylight
I must wait for the sunrise
I must think of the new life
And I mustn't give in
When the dawn comes
Tonight will be a memory, too
And the new day
Will begin
Sunlight through the trees In summer
Endless masquerading
Like a flower As the dawn is breaking
The memory
Is fading
Touch me
It's so easy to leave me
All alone with the memory
Of my days in the sun
If you touch me
You'll understand what happiness is
Look, a new day
Has begun
Up up up Past the Russell Hotel
Up up up up To the Heaviside Layer
Up up up Past the Russell Hotel
Up up up up To the Heaviside Layer
Up up up Past the Russell Hotel
Up up up up To the Heaviside Layer
Up up up Past the Russell Hotel
Up up up up To the Heaviside Layer
Up up up Past the Jellicle Moon
Up up up up To the Heaviside Layer
Up up up Past the Jellicle Moon
Up up up up To the Heaviside Layer
The mystical divinity
Of unashamed felinity
Round the cathedral
Rang vivat
Life to
The everlasting
Cat
You've heard of Several kinds of cat
And my opinion now is that
You should need no interpreter
To understand our character
You've learned enough To take the view
That cats are very much like you
You've seen us both At work and games
And learnt about our proper names
Our habits and our habitat
But how would you
Address a cat?
So first
Your memory I'll jog
And say a cat
Is not a dog
So first
Your memory I'll jog
And say a cat
Is not a dog
With cats
Some say one rule is true
Don't speak till you
Are spoken to
Myself, I do not hold with that
I say you should address a cat
But always keep in mind that he
Resents familiarity
You bow
And taking off your hat
Address him in
This form
"Cat!"
Before a cat will condescend
To treat you as a trusted friend
Some little token of esteem
Is needed, like a dish of cream
And you might now and then supply
Some caviar or Strassburg Pie
Some potted grouse or salmon paste
He's sure to have His personal taste
And so in time you reach your aim
And call him
By his name
A cat's entitled to expect
These evidences of respect
So this is this
And that is that
And there's how you address a cat
A cat's entitled to expect
These evidences of respect
So this is this
And that is that
And there's how you address
A Cat